


Seeing Isn't Always Believing

by shitfanficmeup



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Artist Castiel (Supernatural), Blind Castiel, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural) Has Cancer, Castiel is a Sweetheart, Coffee Shop Owner Sam Winchester, Dean is a Softie, Dean is a Sweetheart, F/M, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Openly Bisexual Dean Winchester, Openly Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Protective Gabriel, Service Dogs, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-10 01:35:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14727479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shitfanficmeup/pseuds/shitfanficmeup
Summary: Castiel was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor at twenty. Now, twenty-five, he's blind and moving in with his older brother, Gabe and his roommates. When he meets Dean Winchester, the darkness he's been living in seems a little brighter.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not know much about cancer so I apologize if something is inaccurate. I'm trying my best over here!

“Cassie! You need any help?” Gabriel called out to his younger brother who had just walked into the house carrying a cardboard box.

“No, just some plates.” Castiel placed the box on the kitchen table as Gabe turned to Alfie, Mike, and Luke, his friends, and roommates, who were sitting in the living room with him.

Gabe rolled his eyes and whispered, “Yeah… sure, let’s have the blind guy carry the box of breakable stuff.”

Cas hollered back, “I’m blind… not deaf!” 

Castiel was diagnosed with a Pilocytic Astrocytoma at only twenty years old. After surgery and treatment, the tumor was removed but unfortunately, so was Castiel’s eyesight. Now twenty-five, Cas and his seeing-eye dog, Abby, were moving into his older brother, Gabe’s house in Lawrence, Kansas. 

That’s right, five guys and one dog in a small house. Gabe, Mike, Alfie, and Luke were all part of the same garrison in the army, serving from Fort Leavenworth. The military fort is a short hour away from their house so thankfully, they usually weren’t all in the tiny house at one time.

The pack of four military boys were all known around town as loud and carefree; Cas was the opposite, tending to keep to himself and his service dog, a large golden retriever named Abby. 

“Is this really all the boxes you have?” Mike’s voice was heard from across the kitchen, where Cas was putting the boxes he had moved from the truck. Mike’s laughter was full of amusement, “Dude, half of this shit is for the dog!”

Cas just shrugged, petting Abby’s soft head, “She needs her toys.”

Luke flicked Cas’s ear, making him jump, “That dog has you whipped. You need to get laid.”

Gabe finished moving the last box into the guest room, now Cas’s bedroom, before walking back out to the kitchen, “Don’t you worry about my little brother’s ass. We are going on the prowl for dick.”

Cas couldn’t help but roll his eyes before grabbing his jacket, inhaler, and sunglasses, “Why do I even bother? Let’s go, Abby.” With his faithful dog and annoying older brother by his side, Cas stepped outside into the unfamiliar town. 

They carefully walked around downtown Lawrence, the early autumn sun shone down on them and even though Cas couldn’t see what was around him, he could feel the warm sun on his skin, he could smell the crisp air, and hear the stranger’s kind voices around him saying hello to Gabe and introducing themselves to Cas.

Once they were alone again, Gabe continued to show Cas around, “Next to us is the Roadhouse. Great fucking burgers. It’s two blocks west from our house.” “Across the street is the only pet store in town. It’s a block away from the Roadhouse and across the street.”

On their way back, Gabe stopped only a block away from their house, “Oh and this is Sam’s. Best coffee around here. Want some?”

Cas smiled at his older brother, “When have you ever known me to turn down coffee?”

Walking into the small coffee shop, the rich smell of coffee grounds was complimented by the sweet, cinnamon smell coming from the case of fresh baked goods. Gabe walked up to the counter and smiled at the tall, long-haired man behind it, “Hey Sam, this is my little brother, Cas.”

Sam, noticing Cas’s glasses, white cane, and guide dog immediately put two and two together, realizing Cas was blind, “Hey, it’s nice to meet you. And who is this pretty lady?” Sam almost reached out to pet Abby but reminded himself that you shouldn’t pet a service dog.

Cas smiled at the praise of his dog, “This is Abby.”

“She’s beautiful. So, what can I get for you today?” Sam grabbed a pad of paper and a pen, his hand ready to write down their orders.

Gabe was the one who answered Sam, “I’ll take my usual, Cassie will have a latte and some water for Abby.”

Sam couldn’t help but hesitate when Cas pushed his shades up onto the top of his head because wow—his eyes were seriously blue. Eventually, he did repeat the order back, “Alright, diabetes in a cup, a latte, and some water for the pup. Be right out.”

Gabe led Cas over to his usual seat near the window. With Abby faithfully sitting right next to Cas and the brothers continuing to talk about the town, they only had to wait a few minutes before a bubbly redhead bounced over to them with their drinks in hand, “Hey, Gabe!”

Cas smiled at the girl’s kind sounding voice and held his hand out after Gabe introduced them, “Hey, Charlie. This is my little brother, Cas.”

Charlie’s hand was warm and small in Cas’s, “It’s so nice to meet you. Well, I have to get back but I’ll see you guys around!”

When Charlie was gone, Cas leaned down to give Abby a drink of the cool water before starting to drink his latte. 

They were half-way through their drinks when Cas groaned, “Gabe… can we go home?”

Gabe was instantly in big brother mode which was only intensified when Abby stood up and started to whine, “Yeah, are you okay?”

Cas tried to stand but that plan was quickly destroyed with the intense head rush he got. Bracing himself on the table with shaky hands, he weakly nodded, “Yeah… I just—headache.”

The worry was obvious on Gabe’s usually happy face, “Alright, sit the hell down. I’m calling Mike.” As Gabe pulled his phone out to call his roommate, Abby jumped up onto Cas’s lap and carefully licked his cheek. Cas weakly pat her head and whispered, “I’m okay, my love… you’re a good girl.”

Seeing Gabe look more serious than he ever had, Sam walked over to their table. His question of, “Is something wrong?” was ignored by Gabe who continued to question Cas, “When was the last time you went to the doctor?”

After Cas’s meek reply of, “…six months ago…” Gabe smacked the back of Cas’s head, much to everyone in the shop, including Sam’s, horror. 

Gabe chastised his brother for being so reckless with his health, “Are you kidding me?!” Luckily, Mike pulled up before Gave could get any angrier. The brothers thanked Sam again before slowly walking out to the car. Using his phone’s voice recognition, Cas called his new neurologist, praying that this—for once in his life—was just a headache. 

At home that night, Sam was greeted with his older brother, Dean, handing him a cold beer and their close family friend and Dean’s boss at the local auto shop, Bobby Singer, handing him a bowl of chili. 

They all sat down to dinner when Sam asked, “You know Gabe Novak?”

Bobby grumped, looking up from his bowl of chili, “The hellion that lives with the other three crazies? Yes.”

Sam ignored the grouchy reply, “I met his little brother today.”

Dean finally answered after a drink of beer, “Oh yeah? What’s he like?”

“His name is Cas, he’s completely blind. He’s quiet and seems really sweet. He has shaggy black hair and once he took off his sunglasses his eyes are like crazy blue.”

Dean chuckled at his brother, “Got yourself a little crush? Not sure how Jess would like that…” Referring to Sam’s girlfriend of two years, Jess, who was a nurse at Lawrence Memorial Hospital.

Knowing Dean’s type, Sam shot back, “I don’t… but you might.”

That gets Sam a spoon thrown at him, “Shut up, bitch.”

Sam laughs at his brother’s fed-up expression, “Jerk.”

Bobby gripped at both of them, “Fuckin’ idjits.”


	2. Chapter 2

The doctor’s office was one of Cas’s least favorite places. Everything about it was negative; the smell, the bland colors walls, the horrible memories, and more than anything… the fear. One little word could ruin everything. Tumor.

However, today was not a tumor day. Today was the day the tests came back clear. Nothing on his C.T scans or M.R.Is. However, Dr. Wyatt insisted on continuing to ask him questions, “So, Castiel, you’ve had dizziness and nausea. Any other symptoms?” 

Cas fiddled nervously with Abby’s leash, “I guess I’ve been feeling a little depressed.” He could feel his cheeks flush with the confession. 

Looking back over the clipboard, Dr. Wyatt shook his head thoughtfully, “Well, your blood tests look good as well. However, if you have any other symptoms please come in, it’s better to be safe than sorry. I will also write you a prescription for Zoloft.”

With a professional goodbye and prescription in hand, Cas walked back out to where Gabe had parked the car.  
After assuring him that everything was alright, Cas and Gabe decided to go to Sam’s for coffee before going home. 

As they walked through the door, Sam’s friendly voice found Cas’s ears, “Cas! Gabe! Nice to see you guys again”!

As the brothers walked up to the counter, Cas was greeted by another voice. 

Dean was leaning against the bakery case, chatting with his little brother. Only, when he heard Cas’s name, Dean immediately straightened up to get a better look at the guy Sam had told him about and holy shit, Cas was gorgeous. His dark, almost black, brown hair is what Dean would describe as artfully-styled-bedhead, his body was slim but muscular and his skin was still tan from the long, hot Kansas summer. 

Like the flustered moron he was, Dean stuck his hand out and smiled at Cas, “It’s nice to meet you.”

Cas, none the wiser, was confused at Gabe’s laughter until he made fun of Dean, “Dude, you know he’s blind, right?”

Dean’s face went bright red as he rubbed the back of his neck. The smile Cas gave him was as bright as the sun, “You tried to shake my hand, didn’t you?”

Somehow, Dean’s cheeks only flushed hotter, “Um… yeah.” This time, it was Cas who reached out for Dean’s hand. Eventually, Dean took Cas’s hand, only pulling away when Abby started to lick their hands.

Cas frowned and cocked his head in confusion, “Abby, sit. Not a dog person?”

Dean wiped his hand on his jeans and tried to suppress a grimace at the slobber, “Not an animal person.”

Protectively patting Abby’s head, Cas pouted, stopping only when Dean tried to cover up his mistake and make Cas smiled again, “Oh but Abby? She’s beautiful!”

Dean felt like a damn idiot. The first completely gorgeous guy in Lawrence in god knows how long and Dean had made a fool of himself and insulted his dog within five minutes of meeting him. 

Sam interrupted the awkwardness, “So… Novak’s, what can I get you today?”

Gabe ordered his usual and Cas ordered something different, green tea. As they waited for their drinks, Cas started to lean on the counter more and Abby licked his hand. Gabe put a steady hand on Cas’s shoulder, “You alright, Cas?”

Cas groaned, “Yeah… just tired. I’m going to sit for a minute.”

Dean jumped at the opportunity to redeem himself, “I’ll come sit with you.” Gently placing a hand on Cas’s sweater covered back, Dean led him over to an empty table, leaving their brothers to talk without them. 

Once they were both seated, Cas sweetly smiled, “Thank you, Dean.”

Dean waved him off but had to remind himself that Cas couldn’t see the gesture so he cleared his throat and tried again, “No problem. You feeling alright?”

This time it was Cas who waved him off, “Yeah, just getting a bit of a cold. So… what do you do?”

“I’m a mechanic.” Even though Dean answered right away, his thoughts were stuck on the way Cas constantly played with Abby’s leash, how his cheekbones and jawline beautifully outlined his face.

Cas’s question quickly snapped him back into reality, “Do you enjoy being a mechanic?”

“Yeah, I like working with my hands.” The innuendo slipped out before Dean realized the double meaning. 

Cas’s foot on his leg was a welcomed surprise and so was the sly smirk that covered his face, “Good to know.”

Dean laughed and gently kicked Cas’s foot, “Pervert.”

Cas could hear the laughter in Dean’s voice; it was rich and lovely like a well-aged glass of brandy. Cas wouldn’t mind drowning his sorrows in it.

Gabe’s loud laughter interrupted their conversation, “Cassie! Stop flirting with the hot mechanic and let’s go!”

Cas’s cheeks turned a bright red, just as Dean’s had a few minutes ago, “I’ll see you around, Dean. Let’s go, Abby.”

Dean most definitely checked out Cas’s ass as he left and yes, Cas is hot and no, Dean is not sorry.

As they drove home, Cas sipped on his tea, “What do Charlie, Sam, and Dean look like?”

“Charlie is about your height. She has short, curly red hair. Sam is about seven feet tall and has long brown hair. Dean is shorter than Sam but still taller than you. He has blonde-ish hair and green eyes.”

Cas tensed up, “…Green eyes?”

Gabe heavily sighed, “Cassie, are you going to try to fuck the older Winchester?”

Feigning shock, Cas gasped, “No! He just… seems nice.”

Gabe made a disgruntled noise as he parked the car in their driveway, obviously not believing his brother. They started to walk up their front steps when Cas tripped on the uneven steps and fell on his face… hard.

Gabe was by his side in a second, “Shit, you okay?” Gabe’s strong hands heaved Cas to his feet and immediately started to try and stop the blood that was pouring out of Cas’s nose. Half carrying Cas inside, Gabe sat Cas down at the kitchen table while Alfie ran off to get a towel. 

After Alfie stopped the bleeding, he checked Cas over again for any other injuries, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Cas looked completely defeated sitting eerily still with his blood still damp on his grey sweater, “Yes… I’m going to bed.”

Luke sarcastically chuckled, “Dude, it’s only one o’clock?”

“Oh my god, is it only one? Fine, then I’m going to take a nap.” Without another word to his brother or roommates, Cas and Abby walked down the hallway to his bedroom. Cas quickly changed into a t-shirt and his boxers. He crawled into bed and patted the spot next to him, “Abby, bed.”

When she hopped up onto the comfortable bed, Cas scratched behind her ear, “Good girl.” 

With Abby snuggled up against his stomach, Cas fell asleep and didn’t wake up until the next morning when Gabe shook his shoulder, “Earth to Cas. You just slept for fifteen hours… you’re starting to scare me. Wake up now, okay?”

Cas stretched and adjusted his pillow so he was comfortable before mumbling a sleepy, “G’morning.”

For the millionth time in only a couple days, Cas was asked, “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah. I feel a lot better, I think I just needed to rest.” Cas sat up in bed and reached out to Abby, smiling when he felt her lick his hand. 

Gabe smiled at how relaxed Cas is when he was around his service dog, “Good. I let Abby out earlier and fed her. Of course, I had to force her to leave your side. Such a loyal bitch.” Through the insult, he affectionately petted the sweet dog.

Cas started to wake up more and tried to fight his yawns, “I’m going to take Abby out for a walk.”

Gabe didn’t sound too supportive of this decision, “I have to go to work.”

Cas mumbled off-handedly, “I’m a grown man, Gabriel. You don’t need to constantly hold my hand.”

After thinking for a minute, Gabe agreed, “Fine. Only because the guys and I have to go to work and I know you’re going to do it anyway.”

Once Gabe left, Cas showered, got dressed in black skinny jeans and a maroon sweater, he cleaned up a bit, fed Abby, made himself lunch, brushed Abby and put her harness on before finally leaving the house around three o’clock but not before making sure he had his wallet, keys, inhaler, and sunglasses.

It was a perfect day for a walk; the sun was brightly shining and the wind was gently blowing. Abby was bouncing down the sidewalk, loyally walking next to Cas. It’s around five o’clock when Cas heard somebody call his name from behind him, followed by jogging footsteps.

Cas carefully turned towards the voice and smiled, “Hello, Dean.”

Dean placed a gentle, reassuring hand on Cas’s arm, playfully teasing him, “Recognize my voice already?”

Cas’s cheeks turned a slight pink at Dean’s observation, “You have a very unique voice.”

Dean led Cas over to a close bench, “So, how are you today?”

Still playing with Abby’s leash, Cas answered, “I’m okay, how are you?”

“I’m alright but are you sure because that bruise says otherwise…” Dean cringed at the purple bruise that peeked out from under Cas’s black sunglasses. 

Cas reached up to touch his nose, remembering the embarrassment from yesterday, “Oh, that… yeah, I’m okay. Got into a pretty intense fight.”

Dean stared at Cas in shock, “Are you serious?”

As usual, Cas used humor as a coping mechanism, “Yeah, the front steps really kicked my ass.” 

Neither he or Dean could hold back their laughter. Once their giggles subsided, Cas asked Dean, “What are you up to? Just prowling around looking for blind guys?”

Dean laughed again and god—Cas wishes he could see it because it sounds so beautiful, he can only imagine how it looks, “Well… seeing you is nice but I just got off of work. I’m just going to get some dinner.”

Cas reached for his cane and a tighter grip on Abby’s leash, “Don’t let me keep you, enjoy your dinner.”

Dean’s brain was screaming that this was a perfect opportunity. By some miraculous burst of courage, Dean managed to ask, “You could join me if you wanted?”

Even though Cas wanted to jump at the offer, he manners told him otherwise, “I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“Please, I’d love to have dinner with you.” Dean sounded so eager and hopeful… how could Cas turn him down?

Happily, Cas agreed, “That sounds great, Dean.”


	3. Chapter 3

Dean and Cas took their time walking to the Roadhouse, mostly because Cas walked very slowly; stopping at the curbs and clearly tensing up. Dean, platonically, of course, took Cas’s hand when they were crossing the street and once they reached the other sidewalk, dropping it. 

Cas clearly seemed embarrassed, “Thank you, Dean. I used to be much more confident on my own but neither Abby nor I are used to Lawrence yet.”

Dean gently bumped Cas’s shoulder with his, trying to reassure him that it was okay, “No problem. I’m sure you’ll get familiar fast.”

Twenty minutes later, they were more than half-way there when the same defeated tone came from Cas, “I’m sorry I walk so slow. Gabe told me you’re taller than me so I’m going to assume you almost never walk this slowly.”

Dean hated knowing Cas thought he had to apologize about things he couldn’t control, “It’s all good. It’s kind of nice to relax and just take a stroll.”

When they did get to the Roadhouse, their waitress, Jo, sat them down at Dean’s usual table; a small comfortable booth in the corner of the diner. The comfortable seats were covered with a red cushion and the table was a solid, dark wooden table. They both ordered a beer and a double cheeseburger. 

After they ordered, Cas pulled off his sunglasses and holy fucking shit—Sam was right. Cas’s eyes were the loveliest blue. Dean couldn’t help but stare at them, they complimented Cas so well; he really did look like an angel. Once again, Dean asked a bit of an abrupt question because of how flustered he was, “So, were you born blind?”

Cas didn’t seem to mind the question, “No, when I was twenty my vision slowly got worse and I started to get terrible headaches. I was diagnosed with brain cancer. I had surgery to take it out but between the damage from the tumor and then the surgery, I was completely blind.”

Dean’s heart broke for Cas because it was always the best people who drew the short straw, “I’m so sorry, Cas.”

Cas gave him a small smile, “Don’t be. I’m still alive, I have a family, the best dog in the world and new friends.”

Dean offered him a smile back, “So, you said you were diagnosed at twenty… how old are you now?”

“Twenty-five.” Even though Cas couldn’t see Dean’s smile, it changed his voice in a way that was obvious. The change in sound, made Cas smile back, “How old are you?”

After a refreshing drink of his cold beer, Dean answered, “Twenty-eight.” Surprisingly, Cas started laughing which made Dean confused, “What’s so funny?”

Cas giggled and reached out for his beer, “You’re old.”

Even Dean had to laugh at that. Sarcastically but jokingly, Dean rolled his eyes, “You’re hilarious."

They were both done with their beers and after ordering another round, their burgers came. They ate in a comfortable silence until about half-way through their meal. Cas cleared his throat, “So, what do you like to do?”

“I’m a mechanic and I play a little guitar.” Dean’s smile sounded different when he answered, he sounded shy and a little embarrassed so he quickly tried to change the subject, “What about you?”

Cas looked genuinely upset for the first time since Dean met him and it was heartbreaking, “I used to paint.” 

Dean didn’t want to push it any further because clearly losing something Cas used to love hurt him and they weren’t close enough to talk about personal things like that yet. Instead, Dean offered, “Want another beer?”

“Sure.” One beer turned into two which turned into three. They both had five beers by the time they left the diner. Needless to say, they were both fairly buzzed so after Dean insisted on paying the bill, he offered to walk Cas home. 

Abby, Cas, and Dean all walked back to Cas’s house. When they got there they stood under the porch light and talked for a few minutes until Dean said, “It’s getting pretty late… I’ll leave.”  
Dean internally celebrated when Cas reached out and grabbed his hand before whispering, “Stay?”

Dean slowly moved his hands up to cup Cas’s face and gently pulled him close, softly kissing him. Cas sighed and leaned into the touch, jumping at the opportunity to touch Dean everywhere he could; his strong arms and back, his defined jawline, and running his hands through Dean’s short sandy-blonde hair. Touching Dean helped Cas imagine what he looked like and needless to say, he was not disappointed. With Dean’s hands securely around his waist, Cas let himself focus on the comforting touch. 

Dean lightly pulled away and groaned against Cas’s lips, “You’re so beautiful.”

Cas lightly chuckled, “You’re drunk.” After kissing for another minute, Cas pulled away and tightly hugged Dean, “You should stay… just because I don’t want you walking home like this.”

Dean gladly hugged Cas back, “Good idea.” Dean let Cas lead him inside, trying not to trip on anything in the dark. In Cas’s bedroom, Dean couldn’t see anything, “Hey, Cas? Do you think we could turn a light on for a second?”

Cas seemed embarrassed that he forgot about that, “Of course. Abby, light.” Abby left Cas’s side only to jump up and grab the light switch with her mouth and flipped it on. 

Through a few more kisses, they were both giggling and sloppily throwing their clothes off, staying in only their boxers. Cas took Abby’s harness off before getting comfortable in bed while Dean switched the light back off and laid down behind Cas, pulling him close against him. 

Once they were comfortable in bed with Dean spooning Cas, Abby jumped up onto the bed and snuggled against Cas. In the dark Cas sleepily mumbled, “Goodnight, Dean.”

Dean pressed a soft kiss to the back of Cas’s shoulder, “Night, Cas.”

Cas lazily stroked Abby’s ear, “Goodnight, Abby.”

When Dean didn’t say goodnight to her as well, Cas gently nudged Dean with his elbow. Affectionately rolling his eyes, Dean sighed, “Goodnight, Abby.” Cas happily hummed in response and fell asleep with a smile on his face. 

The next morning, Gabe, Alfie, Luke, and Mike came home early so they decided on making breakfast. Trying to be considerate, Alfie softly knocked on Cas’s door and opened it a crack before whispering, “Hey, Cas. Do you want some waffle—oh my god!” Dean and Cas were still spooning each other, facing the door. They were shirtless with the comforter draped over them, making them look naked. 

Alfie quickly closed the door and walked back out into the kitchen, “Um… Gabe? Cas is naked in bed with Dean Winchester.”

Gabe dropped the spatula he was holding and looked completely floored, “He’s what?! Oh my god, I have to ruin his life.” Gabe quickly walked into Cas’s room with every intention of being a dickhead but once he saw how happy his little brother looked, he turned around without saying anything, letting Dean and Cas rest.

A little while later, Dean slowly woke up and after getting his bearings, wrapped his arm tighter around Cas; letting Cas’s warmth and even breathing pull him back into a half-asleep state.  
Cas, however, started to panic when he woke up to an unfamiliar arm around him. Thankfully, Dean noticed Cas’s squirming and soothingly rubbed his arm, speaking quietly, “Cas? Hey… it’s just me. Do you want me to go?”

Hearing Dean’s now familiar voice instantly relaxed Cas, “No, it’s okay. I just forgot for a minute.”

Dean smiled against Cas’s neck, breathing in the clean scent of his shampoo, “Don’t apologize. How are you this fine morning?”

“Comfy… my head hurts though.” Cas snuggled further into Dean’s arms and yawned.

Dean hummed thoughtfully, “Mmm… me too. Luckily, I know a great headache remedy.” Slowly, Dean started to kiss Cas’s shoulder and neck, gently sucking and nipping at his soft skin. Cas’s cock twitched in interest as he turned around to face Dean, passionately kissing him and letting their hands roam 

Since they were both in their boxers, their boners were both painfully obvious. Cas broke their kiss to say, “Abby, floor.” When the large dog, that was taking up half the bed, flopped down to the floor Dean pulled Cas on top of his so that Cas was straddling Dean’s lap. His needy hands found Cas’s perfect ass and firmly groped him. When Cas moaned and ground against Dean’s cock and thigh, Dean growled, “Holy fuck… you’re so hot.”

Cas missed being so close to somebody and as great as this was, he needed more. He tried not to whine but it still came out as a desperate beg, “Dean, please. Will you fuck me?”

“Oh hell yes! Do you have stuff?” After his question, Dean flipped Cas onto his back and tucked a pillow under his hips.

Breathlessly Cas answered, “Bedside drawer.”

Dean grabbed the bottle of lube and a condom quicker than he’s ever moved in his entire life. It didn’t take him long to be three fingers deep in Cas’s tight hole and after asking for his consent one more time, Dean slowly pushed himself into Cas. 

“Fuck!” Cas grabbed onto Dean’s back, digging his nails into him maybe a little too hard. His remaining four senses were completely overwhelmed with Dean; the feeling of Dean rocking into him, the taste of his sweat-slick skin, the sounds of Dean’s heated groans, and the smell of his cologne. 

After a few slow experimental thrusts, Cas wrapped his slim legs around Dean’s waist and encouraged Dean to fuck him harder.

Not being one to disappoint, Dean drove hard into Cas, holding him close and using all of his strength to give Cas as much pleasure as he was receiving. 

Apparently, he was doing a good job is Cas’s loud moans of, “Fuck, Dean! Yes, right there… please don’t stop!” were anything to go by.

Dean bit Cas’s neck and sucked a dark mark onto his skin, “Cas, I’m close.”

“Me too… please don’t stop.” Cas started to move his hips to meet Dean’s thrusts, the pleasure becoming overwhelming. Desperate for release, Cas wrapped a hand around his cock and after a few strokes, he came over his own stomach with a loud moan. 

Not long after, Dean followed him with a groan, finishing deep inside Cas and tightly holding onto him. After a moment, Dean flopped down next to Cas and raised an arm to high-five him, not remembering that Cas couldn’t see him. 

He could, however, feel Dean move. Laughing, he nudged Dean’s side with his elbow, “Did you just try to high-five me?”

Dean blushed, once again embarrassed, “Shut up, Novak.”

But his blush was nothing compared to Cas’s when Gabe’s voice came through the door, “Are you guys done?!” It only grew with Mike’s voice joining him, “It sounds like it!” And grew with Luke’s, “What it sounded like was fun!” And grew with Alfie’s, “Was it fun?!”

Cas buried his face in Dean’s neck, “I had no idea they were home…”

They laughed through their embarrassment and stayed in bed a bit longer after cleaning up, sharing sweet slow kisses. Dean frowned and stroked Cas’s cheek with his thumb, “As much as I wish we could spend today together, I have to go to the shop.”

Pouting but accepting their fate, Cas kissed him again, “Okay, I’ll walk you out.”

They got dressed in a comfortable silence and Cas out on Abby’s harness before sneaking past Gabe and company. At the front door, Dean sweetly kissed Cas, “I had an awesome time with you.”

Cas’s face fell as he bowed his head, “But…?”

Dean seemed confused by that, “But nothing. I had an amazing time and I’d love to see you again like A.S.A.P… like tonight.”

Thankfully, Cas’s face lit up again, “I’d love to. Dinner? Maybe around six?”

Dean hugged Cas again, needing to be closer, “That sounds perfect. I’ll pick you up at six.”

After another kiss… or two or three… Dean left and Cas took a deep breath before stepping inside to face his brother and their roommates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at writing smut, I apologize!


	4. Chapter 4

“Morning.” Cas shyly walked into the kitchen, his cheeks still pink with embarrassment. Before sitting down at the table, he let Abby out into the backyard from the sliding door that was in the kitchen. 

Gabe sarcastically chuckled, “Oh, look who it is! Mr. No-Gabe-I’m-not-going-to-fuck-the-older-Winchester!”

Cas shrugged and sat down in his seat, popping a piece of bacon into his mouth, “Last night when both of us were drunk, Dean didn’t try anything. He’s very sweet and definitely knows what he’s doing and I am not sorry.”

Mike, Luke, and Alfie all nodded in agreeance but Gabe grouched, “If he hurts you, I’ll kill him.”

A few minutes later, Abby is pawing at the glass door to get back inside, definitely wanting some bacon. When Cas stood up to let her in, he instantly passed out and hit the ground very hard. 

Gabe, Mike, Luke, and Alfie were by Cas’s side in a second. Gabe shook his little brother’s shoulder, “Cas? Cas?!”

A few seconds later, Cas blearily woke up and groaned, “Urghhh… stop yelling. What happened?”

Gabe was already finishing his phone out of his pocket, “You just fucking passed out. I’m calling an ambulance.”

Cas held out a hand, waving it in Gabe’s direction, “Don’t, I just stood up too fast. Seriously, I’m fine. Just help me up.”

Gabe and Luke heaved Cas to his feet while Alfie pulled out a chair for him and Mike let Abby in. 

Gabe’s stress levels continued to rise, “Cas, this is the second day in a week you’ve either passed out or almost passed out. What is going on with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Cas…”

“Nothing! The doctor said my MRI and CT were clear and so were my blood tests. I’m probably just getting sick.” 

Gabe heavily sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “Well, sorry if I get worried about my little brother who had fucking brain cancer!”

Alfie, Mike, and Luke slowly backed out of the kitchen to let the brothers yell at each other and yell they did. “I don’t anymore! At some point, you’re going to have to let me grow up!”

Gabe matched Cas’s aggressive tone, “You had a fucking Pilocytic Astrocytoma. I watched you lose your vision. I sat by your bedside after your surgery. I was there for all of it!”

“So was I!” Cas groaned and held his head in his hands, the stress of yelling was making his head only pound harder. 

Immediately pushing their fight out of his head, Gabe put a hand on Cas’s shoulder, “What is it?”

Cas replied in a pained voice, “I’m fine, just, please… give me a second.” 

After Cas stopped talking, Abby started to whimper and pace, only making Gabe more anxious, “What’s going on?”

“Bathroom.” Cas reached out for Gabe’s hand and let himself be pulled to his feet and half-carried to the bathroom. 

As soon as he was in front of the toilet, he violently threw up, making Gabe groan but not leave his brother’s side.

When Cas finally stops throwing up, Gabe rubbed his back, “You really are getting sick, huh? You done, kid?”

Cas weakly nodded and once again, let Gabe pull him to his feet. Cas clung to Gabe while keeping one hand on Abby, “Bed?”

Gabe shook his head and led Cas to the living room, “No. You’re going to the couch, we are keeping an eye on you today.”

Once he was comfortable on the couch, Cas drank a bottle of water and listened to an auto book for a while before drifting off to sleep.

Half-way through the day, Gabe, Luke, and Mike were needed at work so Gabe reluctantly left Cas with Alfie.   
As promised, Dean knock’s on their front door a few minutes after six. To his dismay, it is Alfie who opened the door. Quickly recovering, Dean smiled, “Hey… Alfie, right?”

The slightly younger and smaller man smiled back at him, “Yeah. Cas isn’t feeling great, he’s asleep on the couch but you can come in if you like.” Alfie stepped aside to let Dean in and closed the door behind him. 

Alfie went back to his room to finish the paperwork he was working on while Dean wondered into the living room where Cas was peacefully sleeping on the couch, covered with a light blanket. Dean sat on the floor by his head, next to Abby who was vigilant by Cas’s side. Dean ran a hand through Cas’s bed hair and whispered, “Hey, Cas. Are you okay?”

Cas took Dean’s hand and sleepily snuggled his face against his palm, “Don’t feel good, Dean.”

Dean felt his heart cramp; half from seeing Cas in pain but half from how adorable Cas looked, “I heard, anything I can do for you?”

“I just need to rest.” Cas scrunched up his face in confusion, “Why are you here anyway?”

Dean looked just as confused, “We had plans… we made them this morning?”

Cas looked so defeated, “…I’m sorry.”

“Do you not remember?” Dean wasn’t upset, he was just worried.

Cas seemed like he was searching through his mind for any idea of what Dean was talking about, “No, I think I do.” Cas’s eyes seemed to get teary as he reached out for Dean, “Please stay.”

Just wanting to help, Dean softly kissed Cas, “Of course, sit up for me?”

When Cas sat up, Dean sat on the couch where Cas’s head just was, letting him rest his head on Dean’s legs. Dean took the opportunity to bury a hand in Cas’s soft hair, gently massaging his head. 

Cas hung onto Dean’s right thigh and snuggled against him, softly smiling, “You’re warm… comfy.”

Dean chuckled and let his eyes close as he leaned against his hand that was propped up on the armrest, “Okay, you big baby. Go back to sleep.”

Dean faded in and out of sleep for a little bit until Alfie stuck his head into the living room, “Hey, I’m making some chicken and pasta. You guys want any?”

“Sure. Thanks, man.” After Alfie walked away, Dean gently shook Cas to wake him up so he could get some food in his belly. 

They ate the yummy pasta, Cas and Dean were sitting together on the couch when Cas took Dean’s hand and sheepishly said, “I’m sorry I ruined our date.”

Dean leaned over to kiss Cas’s cheek, “Hey, no. Don’t say that. I love spending time with you. I’m not in a rush, we have all the time in the world to go get dinner together.” Before Dean left that night, he and Cas exchanged numbers to reschedule their dinner date.

Over the next few weeks, Dean and Cas get lunch and dinner often. They also take Abby for walks and take long drives together in the Impala because Cas loves the feeling of the bass from the radio and the rumble of the engine. 

They do fuck a few more times and quickly discover what makes the other one tick. Dean loves when Cas grabs onto his back or his arms, he loves those beautiful whimpers Cas makes, and he loves flipping Cas over onto his hands and knees and really fucking into him. 

Cas loves when Dean sucks dark marks on his neck, he loves when Dean grabs onto his hips and tells him how good he is, more than anything he loves being overwhelmed with just Dean. 

But they both can’t get enough of snuggling and holding each other; pressing soft kisses to each other’s soft skin and whispering loving, sweet secrets to each other in the comfort of their blanket bubble.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean and Cas had been dating for two months when Dean picked Cas up on a Saturday to spend the day together. First, they stopped at Sam’s to get some breakfast. Walking through the door, Dean kept his arm around Cas’s shoulders, not possessive but proud; not saying, “Mine, do not touch.” But rather, “Hell yeah, he’s my boyfriend. Look how goddamn lucky I am.”

Cas felt the same way as he leaned into Dean, contently smiling with his two favorites, Abby and Dean by his side. 

When they walked up to the counter, Sam smiled at his older brother, “Hey jerk and Cas. What would you like today?”

Cas thought for only a moment before answering mostly to Dean, “I’m not really feeling that great… mostly just tea?”

“Sure, baby. I’ll get you some toast too.” Dean turned more towards Sam, “Coffee and pie for me."

Sam went to get their order while Dean and Cas grabbed a table near the counter. Cas reached out and held Dean’s hand, gently rubbing his thumb over Dean’s knuckles.

Dean kissed the back of his hand, “Is it your stomach again, baby? We can go home if you don’t feel good.”

“I don’t know, I just don’t feel great but I still want to go out.” Cas kissed Dean’s hand back before Sam walked over and put their food on the table. 

Dean watched as Cas reached over to grab a small container of jelly and carefully spread it on his toast. Dean was impressed with how well Cas adapted to being blind in just five years. He would never tell Cas but sometimes he would close his eyes and try to do simple things like take a shower or eat and it was almost impossible for him. 

After they ate and Cas reassured Dean that yes, he really was okay, they got back in the Impala and Abby jumped in the back seat on the blanket Dean had put down. He was a little hesitant about having Abby in his car at first but now, the blanket never leaves the backseat neither do her toys or the dog treats in the glove compartment.

As they drove to the store across town, both Dean and Cas made fools of themselves loudly singing along to the classic rock songs on the radio. When they did get to the small clothing shop, Dean and Cas were looking around with Abby loyally staying well-behaved as they walked down the aisles of clothes. After a while, Dean handed Cas a shirt, “How does this one feel?”

Cas ran his hand over the shirt, “I like it, it’s soft… wait, is this flannel?”

“No!” Dean tried to sound convincing but failed miserably.

Cas being Cas grabbed the shirt and walked up to a woman he could hear talking before politely saying, “Excuse me, ma’am... is this flannel?”

The older woman didn’t mind being interrupted, “Yes, honey.”

Cas politely thanked her and turned back to Dean, muttering, “Everything you own is flannel.”

Dean threw his hands up in the air, “You can’t even see my shirts!”

The same woman Cas asked turned around with a horrified look on her face, “That’s horrible!”

Cas doubled over with laughter and loosely wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist. When their laughter subsided, Dean admitted defeat, “Okay, baby, how about this? You pick me out a shirt that isn’t a flannel and I’ll pick you one out that isn’t a sweater.”

They quickly went their separate ways and Cas found a sales associate to help him, “Hi, I was wondering if you could help me. Do you see a tall guy, blonde-ish hair, green eyes, great jaw, superhot boy?”

The young blonde enthusiastically nodded, “Hell yeah.”

“That’s my boyfriend and even though I can’t see what he wears, I know for a fact that he wears the same five flannels all the time so I need to find him something that isn’t flannel. Could you help me?”

She jumped at the opportunity, “Definitely!” They walked down the aisles feeling different fabrics and the kind teenage sales associate patiently described all the different shirts to Cas until they found one that Cas deemed acceptable.

Cas shook her hand and thanked her, the two walked over to Dean as Cas held the shirt behind his back. Dean smiled at his boyfriend, “Hey, I found something for you.”

Cas took the shirt and thought it felt soft but there was one issue, “What does it look like?”

“It’s a dark green button up.” Dean’s voice sounded a little off but Cas didn’t know what was wrong until the sales girl piped up, “It’s a disgusting bright pink color. I don’t even know why we sell that shirt… it’s terrible.”

Cas playfully smacked Dean’s arm and lovingly said, “Idiot.”

When Dean handed Cas what he actually got which was actually a blue flannel shirt, Cas was just as happy as Dean was with his dark maroon button up.

Against all of Cas’s protests, Dean bought both of the shirts and the few other things they wanted. On the ride home Cas asked for Dean’s help giving Abby a bath. Dean grumped about it for a while but ultimately agreed. 

Back at Cas’s, they wrestled with Abby until she was in the bath and started to spray her with the handheld showerhead. Cas and Dean both scrubbed Abby’s long golden fur with the fancy all-natural shampoo Cas insisted on buying. 

Half-way through rinsing out the shampoo, Cas quickly sprayed Dean with the hose, giggling like a dork.

Dean grabbed the hose from him and completely drenched Cas, only stopping when Cas splashed him with water from the tub, “You’re such a shit!”

Cas chuckled and kissed Dean, “You love me.”

Dean lovingly kissed him back, “Yeah… I do.”

Needless to say, they got a little distracted kissing each other through their whispers of, “You love me?” “Of course, I do.” “I love you too, Dean.”

Knowing neither of them were paying attention, Abby jumped out of the tub and shook suds and water all over both of them. Dean and Cas squealed and grabbed her before she could run out of the room, putting her back in the bathtub to finish rinsing her off. 

They worked together to dry her off and brush her out so she was nice and pretty before taking their own shower, blow jobs included, making some dinner with Gabe and their roommates and going to bed for the night.

Just as they did every night they spent together, Dean held Cas and Cas held Abby as they drifted off to sleep. It wasn’t until two in the morning when Abby’s loud barking jolted Dean out of his sleep. He sleepily nudged Cas, who he had turned away from in his sleep, “Abby’s barking.”

Cas didn’t move to do anything and Abby didn’t stop so Dean elbowed him a little harder this time, “Cas?”

Again, Dean didn’t get an answer. He shook Cas’s shoulder and spoke up louder, “Baby? Are you okay?” Still, without an answer, Dean rolled over and turned on the lamp that was on the nightstand next to him. When he moved to face Cas again, his entire world stopped.

Cas’s arm that was furthest away from Dean was twitching, his blue eyes were rolling back in his head and twitching, but the scariest of all was the white foam and drool coming from Cas’s mouth. Dean sat up and harshly shook Cas, his panic blurring any rational thinking as he screamed over Abby’s barking, “GABE! GET IN HERE!”

Almost a minute later, Gabe came running into their bedroom, closely followed by Alfie, Mike, and Luke. Gabe’s heart stopped as he saw his little brother suffering, “Oh my god, call an ambulance!”

Dean tried to will his body to move as he grabbed his phone from the nightstand and dialed 911. His panicked sentence was cut off by his voice breaking, “My boyfriend is having a seizure. Twenty-five Lacy Avenue, Lawrence. No, no! I don’t—just, please.”

Luke, trying to help, ran to the front door to wait for the ambulance while Dean and Gabe held onto Cas who thankfully, had stopped seizing; which is when Abby finally stopped barking.   
Very slowly, Cas opens his eyes and groaned before throwing up everywhere. Gabe quickly turned him to his side and tried to tell him everything was okay, “I got you baby brother, you’re alright.”

Cas painfully moaned and reached out to Abby who gently licked his fingers. Again, Cas groaned but this time, being a little more coherent asked, “Gabe?”

Gabe strongly held onto Cas’s shoulder, “Yeah, I’m right here.”

Cas had started crying when he desperately asked for Dean. When Dean only sat there in a state of shock, Gabe harshly slapped his arm spurring him into answering, “Y—yeah, baby. I’m right here.”

Cas was sobbing as he whined, “I don’t feel good.”

Gabe could hear the sirens in the distance when he answered, “I know, kiddo but we have an ambulance coming, okay?”

Clinging onto Dean, Cas cried, “I want to go back to bed.”

Dean ran a hand through Cas’s sweat soaked hair, trying to ignore his own tears, “No, baby. Just stay awake for a few more minutes.”

It was a Godsend when they heard Luke yell that the ambulance was there. Without thinking twice, Dean scooped Cas up in his arms and carried him outside and placing him on the stretcher. The EMTs overwhelmed him with questions but he could only shakily answer, “He was sleeping and his service dog woke me up and he was seizing.”

As the younger male EMT hooked Cas up to an EKG machine and took his blood pressure, the older female questioned Gabe, “Any health problems?”

“He had a benign Polycystic Astrocytoma five years ago. He had it removed and it hasn’t come back. He’s blind and has asthma. His last CT scan was a little over two months ago, it was clear.”

Quickly writing down the information, the EMT looked back up at Dean and Gabe, “We’re bringing him to Lawrence General, who’s riding?”

Dean quickly scrambled in the back of the ambulance with Cas as Gabe, Mike, Luke, and Alfie grabbed their stuff along with Dean and Cas’s so they could meet them at the hospital. In the ambulance, Cas’s heart rate kept increasing as he desperately reached out for Dean, “Dean? I’m really scared. Please talk to me… I feel awful and I’m kind of panicking and I feel like I’m going to throw up and pass out and fuck—Dean, please. I need you.”

Neither heaven nor hell could keep Dean from Cas at that moment. Dean ran a hand through Cas’s hair and with the other one squeezed Cas’s shaking hand a little too hard, giving him something to feel and ground himself, “Baby, take a deep breath. I’m here. You’re not alone, I won’t let you get hurt. I’ll always be here. I love you so much.” The heart monitor eventually started to slow with Dean’s encouraging words.

At the hospital, they were greeted by a familiar face, Jess, Sam’s girlfriend who was working a night shift as an ER nurse, “Dean?!... Okay, hop out. I got him, okay?”

The pretty young blonde quickly helped the EMTs pull Cas inside and onto and Emergency Room bed. Once they got him stabilized, Jess quickly brought up to get a CT scan done while Dean had to sit in the waiting room.

A few minutes later, Gabe, Mike, Luke, and Alfie came rushing up to Dean, all asking questions at once.

Dean was still trying to control his breathing when he answered, “He’s doing better, Jess took him up for a CT scan.” He shakily grabbed onto Gabe’s upper arm, “I should have noticed and if Abby wasn’t there Cas could have died and I wouldn’t have known and I promised I’d take care of him.”

Knowing that nobody was to blame for this, Gabe shook his head, “No, Dean. This is not your fault. But you are holding him together right now because worst case—most likely his cancer came back. So you listen to me, either leave now and do not come back or if you’re going to stick around, you have to stay.”

Dean didn’t even hesitate, “I’m not going anywhere.”

What seemed like forever later, Jess came back and led everybody up to Cas’s room. They sat with him until the doctor came back in and Dean was relieved Cas couldn’t see the look on the doctor’s face. His suspicion of bad news was quickly confirmed, “Looking at the scans, you can see the tumor sitting in the right hemisphere of his brain. We can assume that it is the same cancer type as before which luckily means that it is benign. It is fairly large which is what caused the seizure, it is putting a lot of pressure on the rest of your brain. We can surgically remove it and test it to make sure it is benign. After the surgery, we will do a course of radiation and continue with regular scans to monitor it.”

Cas buried his face I Dean’s neck and sobbed, just wanting everything to stop. How much more could these tumors take from him?

Everyone was distraught but Cas’s anxiety attack made everything worse so the doctors gave Cas a small amount of sedative, causing him to fall asleep. The last thing he remembered was Dean kissing his forehead and promising him everything was going to be okay.


	6. Chapter 6

Cas’s surgery was scheduled for three days later; the doctors wanted to remove it as soon as possible because it was clearly a fast-growing tumor. 

Thankfully, mostly for Dean, Sam visited with coffee and hugs for everyone. He always lit up whatever room he was in and made everybody smile, which is something everyone could use at the moment. 

The second day he was in the hospital, Cas and Dean were alone. Knowing it was going to happen anyway, Cas asked Dean to help him shave the sides of his head, even though only one side would be operated on. When he was done, Dean kissed Cas, “I got to say, baby, you look pretty hot. You know, kind of punk rock.”

The day of the surgery, Gabe called his commanding officer and told him the situation while Dean called Bobby and asked for time off, which Bobby gladly gave him. 

They all said goodbye to Cas and tried to sound fearless for him but it was hard when goodbye really could be goodbye. Dean held onto Cas’s hand and softly kissed him, whispering, “I’ll see you when you get out, okay?” 

Cas’s blue eyes started to fill with tears as he clung onto Dean’s hand, stumbling over his words, trying to fight the medication the nurses gave him but Dean just hushed him and pressed their foreheads together, “No, baby. Just listen to me, I’m going to see you when you’re done and everything is going to be just fine. So, lay down and relax. It will be over before you know it. I love you so much.”

Cas barely managed to mumble out, “I love you more.” Before falling asleep and having the nurses push Cas’s bed off towards the operating room. 

Gabe and Dean were sitting in the waiting room talking, trying to distract themselves by telling funny stories about Cas. Gabe chuckled, “Before the cancer, he was a wild child.”

Dean almost spit out his crappy hospital coffee in shock, “Seriously? The same sweet little guy I’m dating? The one who insists on being the little spoon and holding Abby at the same time?”

Gabe laughed because he knew exactly where Dean was coming from in his confusion, “Oh yeah. I’m talking parties, drinking, smoking weed, a few particularly horrible boyfriends, sneaking out, he got arrested for being drunk in public and trespassing… the whole nine.”

Dean was completely floored, “No fucking way.”

“He and his friends broke into their high school’s football field and spray painted, ‘Mr. Higgins’ who was the principal, ‘loves cock’ on the fifty-yard line.” Gabe doubled over in laughter at the memory.

“That sounds like something I would do… what changed?” Dean was genuinely curious at the drastic change in his boyfriend. 

“Well, he grew up a bit. Our father was a local cop and threatened to send him to the military with me if he didn’t shape up. Then when he was in college, he was an art major but then he was diagnosed with the tumor and everything just stopped for him. When he started to lose his vision, he let the darkness take over. He got very depressed then mom and dad died in a car accident and I begged him to come live with me for a long time. I mean can you blame me? My baby brother just recovered from brain cancer and he was blind and our parents had just died. He was miserable and needed help. Thank god he had Abby, she was his rock through everything. Then he moved in with me recently and you know the rest.”

Dean’s heart ached for Cas, “Wow… I mean… wow. He never said anything.”

Gabe put a hand on Dean’s shoulder, “He’s had a rough past couple of years but Dean? Since he started seeing you, I feel like I have my brother back.”

Tears definitely started to well up in Dean’s eyes, “Well, just know that I’m not going anywhere. I love him, Gabe.”

Before Gabe could answer, the doctor came out with an unreadable look on his face. The surgery had been a long, stressful seven hours, “Novak?”

Both Dean and Gabe quickly walked over to the doctor who didn’t keep them waiting any longer, “The surgery was a success. We managed to resect the entire tumor. He is still under anesthesia but you can see him if you like.”

Trying not to run to the room, they closely followed the doctor, breathing out a sigh of relief when they saw Cas alive and doing well in the hospital bed. They both pulled up a chair on either side of the bed and held each of his hands. It took Cas about an hour to wake up but now that they knew he was okay, the hour seemed to fly by. 

Very slowly, Cas woke up and Gabe quickly hit the call button for the nurse. Before Cas could say anything the doctor who performed the surgery came in and started asking him to perform tasks, “Mr. Novak, can you squeeze my fingers for me? Very good. Wiggle your toes? Wonderful… And do you know where you are?”

In a raspy voice, Cas answered, “Hospital.”

Which seemed good enough for the doctor, “Very good. I’ll let you rest for now.” 

Once the doctor was gone, Cas groaned and reached for Dean’s hand again, which Dean quickly took and kissed the back of. He whined, mostly in pain, “Gabe? Where’s Abby?”

“At home, kiddo. She needed to get out of the hospital for a little bit.” Gabe already knew how this was going to go; Cas loved his dog and even though Dean and Gabe helped, Abby gave him a certain comfort, she lowered his blood pressure and reduced stress. 

The last thing anybody wanted to see were the tears filling Cas’s eyes, “I want her here… please, I need her.”

Dean needed to do something. He couldn’t just sit and watch the person he loves suffer, “Okay, baby. Look, I’ll go get her okay? I’ll bring some food too so she can stay.”

Cas sniffled and kissed Dean’s hand, “Can you bring her duck?”

Dean couldn’t hold back his chuckle as he sweetly kissed Cas’s head, “Of course, I’ll bring her duck.” 

As Dean got his jacket to leave, Gabe silently mouthed, “Thank you.” And tossed Dean his house keys.

At the house, Dean opened the front door to an empty house; Mike, Luke, and Alfie must have been needed at work. Dean had to look everywhere until he found Abby sulking on Cas’s bed. Turning on the light, Dean gently pet her head and sat on the bed next to her, “Hey girly… I know, I’m worried about him too. Would you like to go see Cas?”

She seemed to know exactly what Dean was saying as she picked up her head and started quickly wagging her tail. Dean brought out his baby voice, which he would deny ever using, “Yeah, come on. Let’s go see how Cas is doing.”

Abby bounced off the bed and Dean tried to put on her service dog vest and collar regardless of her wiggling. He made sure to grab a ziplock bag of food, her toy duck, and her vaccine papers, just in case.

Back at the hospital, Dean could barely hold onto Abby long enough to get to Cas’s room. As soon as they were in the room, Dean dropped her leash and she leaped up onto the bed, laying on Cas’s legs where he desperately clung onto her and whispered, “Thank you, thank you. Thank you, Dean.”

Shushing Cas, Dean sat on the bed and wrapped an arm around Cas’s shoulder, “Anything for you, baby.”

After the first day, Cas’s recovery went smoothly. He was in the hospital for five days before being sent home where Dean and Gabe still didn’t leave his side and of course, neither did Abby.  
Besides the mild symptoms Cas was having from his radiation treatment, everything was going well for a month, Cas stopped feeling sick, Gabe and Dean eventually went back to work but what wasn’t going well was how fragile Dean was treating Cas. While it wasn’t terrible having somebody to help him do things, Dean and Cas hadn’t touched each other in a month and Cas was getting frustrated. 

One night when Cas was waiting for Dean to get back from work, he showered and put on a pair of navy blue panties he had hiding in the back of his sock drawer because he knew only he and Dean would be home that night. 

He was laying on top of the covers with his legs obscenely spread when Dean walked into the room. When he turned on the light, Dean’s heart stopped in the best way possible, “Cas? What are you doing?”

As seductively as he could, Cas practically growled, “Get over here and fuck me.”  
Dean had to use every ounce of self-control not to pounce on Cas and his fucking gorgeous body, “Baby… as tempting as that is, I don’t think it’s safe.”

Cas rolled his eyes and pressed his palm against his own hard cock, moaning at the contact, “I feel fine, I’m good. I have no pain. Dean, please. It’s been so long since I’ve felt you, I need you.”

Dean’s last bit of resolve crumbled as he stripped off his jacket and tried not to run towards the bed, “Fine but the second things don’t seem right, we’re stopping.”

That night Cas showed Dean that he was not, in fact, breakable or fragile or about to drop dead through harsh kisses, pulling hands, and desperate moans. Finally, things seemed to be back to normal.


	7. Chapter 7

Dean and Cas were lounging around Dean’s house not doing much of anything when Cas casually said, “What’s something you’ve always wanted to do?”

“Long term? Nice house, white picket fence, wedding rings, and a couple of rugrats. More immediate? I’ve always wanted to drive route 66.” Dean smiled at the thought of nothing but open road and his two babies; Cas and the Impala.

Hearing the smile in Dean’s voice, Cas answered, “We could go when the weather gets nicer if you wanted.”

It started as a whisper, “…No reason we can’t do both…” but quickly grew into word vomit, “You know, you and me? This is it for me. I love you, Cas. And you don’t have to and I know it’s still kind of soon but I’d love for you to meet my parents. They live in Florida and it’s been way too long since I’ve seen them anyway—” 

Cas kissed Dean’s cheek to cut him off, “I’d love to, Dean.”

The flight to Florida was three hours long but Abby was very well behaved the whole time. Sam and Jess also went with them. Dean was usually terrified on flights but having Cas asleep and drooling on his shoulder seemed to make the flight easier. 

When they landed, a blonde woman in jeans and a t-shirt pulled Dean into a tight hug, “Oh my baby! I missed you!”

Dean picked up the woman and spun her around, “Mom, I missed you too.”

When they let go of each other, Mary hugged Sam then Jess while John, a tall man with dark brown hair that was starting to turn gray followed. When they were done, Dean gestured to Cas and smiled, “Mom, dad, this is Cas and his dog, Abby.” 

Cas stuck out his hand towards the sound of Mary’s voice, “It’s very nice to meet you, ma’am.”

She ignored his outstretched hand and pulled him into a hug, “Oh no, honey. Please call me Mary. It’s so nice to meet you too!”

Shaking Cas’s hand, John put his other hand on Cas’s shoulder, “And you better not call me sir. Seriously, it makes me feel old.”

Cas chuckled already feeling relieved, “Alright, John it is.”

They grabbed their duffle bags and started to walk out to John and Mary’s black Tahoe. While John drove, Mary turned around in the passenger seat, “Are you hungry? Let’s bring your bags home and figure out dinner.” Mary saw Abby happily place her head on Cas’s lap and lick his hand. She smiled before adding, “And don’t you worry about the pup. There is a very nice park just a minute down the street.”

Cas couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face as he rested his head on Dean’s shoulder, “Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.” 

Dean kissed Cas’s head and smiled back at his mother. Not too much later, they pulled up to the Winchester’s and Dean kept his hand firmly on Cas’s back, helping him through the unfamiliar house. It was a good sized home which four bedrooms and five bathrooms. The outside of the house was tan and it had a dark-shingled roof. Dean helped Cas feed Abby and take her for a quick walk before heading back to the house and going to get dinner. They decided on a nice Italian restaurant that was close to the house. 

After being seated and ordering, Mary cleared her throat, “So Cas… tell us a bit about yourself?”

Keeping his hands nervously folded on the table, Cas answered, “I live with my brother and his friends, they’re in the military. I was an art major in college then, I was diagnosed with brain cancer and I lost my vision. About two months ago I had another tumor removed.”

It was noticeable when Dean closed his eyes at the unpleasant memory and took Cas’s hand, tightly squeezing it. Mary noticed the change in her son’s demeanor but chose to ignore it for the moment, “So how long have you been together? Because clearly, Dean tells us nothing.”

At that, Dean beamed with pride, “About six months.” 

Mary and John continued to ask Cas questions, trying to get to know the man that their son clearly loves. By the end of dinner, they loved him too.

Back at the house, Cas and Dean were walking up the front steps and holding hands when Cas tripped and almost fell on his face but luckily Dean quickly caught him, “Whoa, easy there. What? Were you and my dad sneaking whiskey while I wasn’t looking?” Everyone laughed at that and Cas playfully smacked Dean’s arm.

In the house, Dean let Cas take a shower first. While Cas was showering off the airplane funk, Dean, Sam, and Jess were talking to Mary and John in the kitchen and drinking some wine. Dean squirmed and looked at his parents with hopeful eyes, “So… what do you think?”

Finally, Mary admitted her concerns, “He seems very sweet but how are you handling this whole tumor thing?”

Dean shrugged, trying not to sound too upset, “Well, waking up next to him having a seizure was scary but it’s not me I’m worried about.”

Surprisingly, it was Jess who spoke up with a knowing tone, “Dean… you know scary isn’t the right word. “

“Alright, fine. Terrifying, horrible, one of the worst moments of my life but he’s worth it. If I have to deal with a little bit of worry for us to be happy together I am more than okay with that.” Dean harshly exhaled and ran a hand over his face, “Sorry, Jess… I guess I’m a little protective of him.” 

Jess and Mary both knowingly gave him a small smile that came from a woman’s intuition. Jess glanced into her glass, “I know, Dean. It’s alright. I really am happy you and Cas are happy together. You know me, I worry about everyone.”

Mary refilled everyone’s glass, “You really love him, don’t you? Do you think he’s it for you?”

Dean’s rare blush was a strange sight, “Yeah… that’s actually why I wanted you guys to meet him.”

And that was it for Mary, “OH! My baby’s getting married!”

John choked on his drink, “You’re what?!”

Jess was already on the verge of happy tears, “You didn’t say anything, congratulations!”

And Sam assumed the role of little brother, “Dude… already?”

Dean was rolling his eyes out of frustration, “Will you all shut up?! We aren’t getting married! Not now at least. Give it a little while and we will. Trust me, I’m marrying that man eventually. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go shower because I feel dirty and exposed.”

Cas was getting out of the shower when Dean stepped into the bathroom. Cas had a towel loosely wrapped around his hips when Dean tried to sneak up behind him but of course, that didn’t work, “I can hear you. You’re not quiet.”

“Goddamn it, someday I’ll get you.” Dean kissed Cas before getting into the shower, leaving Cas to get dressed. 

By the time Dean walked into the room, Cas had on sweatpants and a t-shirt but he was almost frantically digging through his duffle bag. He put a hand on Cas’s shoulder, turning him around to face him, “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Cas looked like he was going to have a heart attack, “I forgot them, I can’t believe I forgot them!” Abby was staring up at Cas and slightly whining, not understanding what was wrong.

Having absolutely no clue what was happening Dean put both of his hands on Cas’s shoulders and shook him, speaking slightly harsher than usual, trying to snap Cas out of his thoughts, “Okay… whoa! Deep breaths. Just talk to me, what’s going on?”

Cas buried his face in his hands, “I forgot my antidepressants.” 

Dean immediately understood why Cas was so upset; he knew meeting Mary and John was stressful for Cas and he wanted to make a good impression and he also knew that when Cas doesn’t take his meds he gets anxious, tired, and feels sick. But they could fix this, “Oh baby, it’s okay. We will figure it out, okay?”

Cas tightly wrapped his arms around Dean’s sweatshirt covered stomach, his sniffles and shaking shoulders easily encouraged Dean to hug him back and gently rub his back, “Hey… hey, no tears. I’m right here.” 

Cas mumbled against Dean’s chest, “I don’t deserve you.”

That made Dean more angry than sad as he took Cas’s face into his hands, looking into his eyes even though Cas couldn’t look back at his, “Cas, you’ve been through so much shit. You deserve to be happy.”

Cas grabbed Dean’s sweatshirt and pulled him into a loving kiss, needing to feel Dean the way Dean can look at him. They held each other close and showed their love the way that was just theirs. 

Dean moved so he was sitting on the bed, pulling Cas onto his lap. On their own accord, his hands moved to Cas’s ass and pulled him close, a weak moan escaping both of them. The fun screeched to a halt when Sam opened the door, “Hey! We are going to—ah! Sorry!” Cas jumped off Dean when he heard the door open but Sam already had his eyes covered, “The door… was unlocked and—"

Dean cut him off because he was so painfully awkward, “Sam, it’s okay. What were you saying?”

Sam shifted uncomfortably in the doorway, “Ice cream… we are having ice cream and watching a movie.”

Dean and Cas followed Sam out to the living room where everyone was sitting. Dean and Cas wedged themselves on the large cough next to Sam and Jess while John and Mary sat on the loveseat. Abby was happily sprawled out at Cas’s feet, contently enjoying the company of everybody.

Towards the end of the movie, Cas was asleep on Dean’s shoulder and Dean was asleep with his head on Cas’s. John chuckled at his son and his boyfriend, “Are they always like this?”

Sam faked being appalled, “I know, it’s so cute it’s sick.”

Sam, Jess, and John all headed off to bed. Before Mary followed John, she gently shook Dean’s shoulder, “Honey, time for you boys to get to bed.”

Sleepily blinking awake, Dean yawned, “Good call. Goodnight mom, love you.”

She kissed his forehead and smiled lovingly, “I love you too, sweet dreams.”

Dean woke Cas up like he was trying to wake the dead, roughly shaking his shoulder, “Come on, time for bed. Wake up.”

Cas grumbled incoherently and let his feet carry him to the guest room with Dean close behind him. Exhausted, they both fell into bed and were asleep in minutes. 

The next morning, Cas woke Dean up with a kiss, “Dean? I need to take Abby out but I have no idea where I am. Please come with me?”

Slowly, Dean woke up, “Sure, baby. We can pick up your meds too.”

After taking Abby for a walk, calling Cas’s doctor, having his prescription filled, and stopping at a bakery to pick up bagels, Dean and Cas headed back to the house. The rest of their week in Florida was filled with relaxing days and bonding with the family.


	8. Chapter 8

These are the five times Cas wished with his whole heart he could see and the one time he didn’t need to.

First, was the day Dean and Cas bought their first, and only, home together. It was a small one-floor ranch-style house in Lawrence that was painted white with dark red shutters. Their house was still close to Gabe, Mike, Luke, and Alfie who helped them move in. It was also close to Sam, who ended up staying in his and Dean’s old house with Jess.

They had been together for two years the day they moved in together, Cas was twenty-seven and Dean was thirty. Cas, after going back to school for a bit, became a guidance counselor at the local public high school. All the kids are kind to him, mostly because Cas is awesome at his job but also because of his service dog who doubles as a therapy dog for the kids, and maybe because of his super-hot husband who brought him lunch sometimes. 

Cas wished he could see his and Dean’s beautiful home. He also wished he could see the faces of the kids he helped every day.

Second, was the day Cas proposed… and the day Dean did as well. They were sitting on their front steps one late summer night after dinner, drinking a cold beer when Cas took Dean’s hand after reaching into his pocket to pull out a small silver band and nervously smiled at him, “Dean, I know this isn’t much but, me and you well… we’ve never been ones for grand romantic gestures but you’re my only love for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?”

Dean’s answer scared the hell out of Cas, “Are you fucking kidding me?! You beat me to it, you asshole!” Completely done with everything, Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out a slim gold band. They laughed and lovingly kissed each other before slipping the rings on each other’s fingers.

Cas wished he could see how their rings looked on each other.

Third, was the day they had to put Abby down. It was a Saturday morning and unfortunately, Dean was needed at the auto shop. Cas got up and tried to get Abby up for a walk. When she didn’t get up, instead just placed her head back down and let out a weak whine… Cas knew. Abby was eleven and growing grey, both Dean, and Cas knew this was coming but it still seemed impossible. Cas sat on the living room floor with her head on his lap as he pulled out his phone and called Dean. 

When he heard his fiancé’s warm voice, asking “what’s up?” Cas’s strong face crumbled, “I know you’re at work but I think it’s time…”

Dean sounded just as devastated as Cas felt, “I’ll be right home.” When he did get home, Dean sat next to Cas and started stroking Abby’s head with him. 

Through his sniffles, Cas managed to say, “She just isn’t right today and I know she doesn’t feel good. How does she look?”

“Tired, baby… she looks tired.” Giving each of them a kiss, Dean walked into their kitchen and called the vet’s office to let them know they were coming in. After hanging up, Dean picked up Abby and carried her out to the Impala with Cas close behind him.

Crushingly, the vet put Abby down while her two favorite people soothingly pet her and told her how loved she was. At that moment, Cas knew he would never have another service dog, after all, this was his dog.

Cas wished he could look into Abby’s big brown eyes and tell her goodbye.

Fourth, was the day Dean and Cas got married. Cas new the ceremony was beautiful, Dean described everything to him. He knew he was surrounded by their friends and family when they said their vows. He heard the sweet words Dean promised to him and he heard the break in his voice when he said I do. He heard them say it, “Dean and Castiel Winchester.” Dean felt gorgeous in his well-fitting black suit… he felt amazing without it on afterward too.

Cas just wished he could look into Dean’s joy-filled eyes when they said their vows.

Fifth, was the day they adopted their first and only child. She was a six month old with soft, olive skin, blonde hair, and shining blue eyes. Her name was May and she was the light of their lives. Dean and Cas were protective papas from the moment they held her. Dean gently handed Cas their new daughter, wrapped in a pink blanket. Cas hugged her and softly kissed her chubby cheeks. 

Cas wish that night when they tucked her into her crib, he could look at his daughters peaceful, sleeping face. 

The one time Cas did not need to see was the day May left for college. She tightly hung onto Cas, “I love you, daddy. I’m so happy you and dad raised me. I couldn’t ask for better parents. Thank you for being my best friends through everything and I’m really going to miss you.”

Dean wrapped both of them up in his arms, “Even all the way in San Diego, you’ll always be our little girl. Don’t you forget that.” 

Cas didn’t need to see to feel the love his family shared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought? Thank you for reading, much love xx


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